Some ideas to soothe stress

When we feel stress, we often attempt to talk ourselves out of it - we downplay the reasons for our distress, tell ourselves we need to toughen up, or compare ourselves to others. This often adds another layer to our distress, leaving us feeling guilty, angry or helpless. 

So instead of trying to talk ourselves into a more relaxed state, we can focus on physical sensations to change the state of our nervous system. Practicing some of these techniques helps us to manage stress, anxiety and overwhelm, bringing a sense of calm and, ultimately, more resilience.

Here are some techniques to try:

1. Orientation - slowly scanning the environment to signal to the brain that your surroundings are safe. This works particularly well outside, scanning the horizon from left to right, using your peripheral vision, following the flight of birds or trees moving in the breeze. Inside you can look for an object in each colour of the rainbow, or gently move your eyes from left to right without moving your head.

2. Grounding - techniques like feeling your feet on the floor or the weight of your body in a chair, noticing the support of the earth or chair. 

3. Breathing - simple, conscious breathing can signal to our body and brain that we are safe. For example, breathing in gently for 3 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, breathing out slowly for 5 seconds

4. Somatic Tracking - Noticing physical sensations (e.g. areas of tension, ease or numbness) without trying to change them, allowing them to shift naturally. A guided body scan or yoga nidra can help to do this.

5. Movement - shaking, jumping, dancing, throwing a ball, walking

6. Singing or humming activate the vagus nerve

7. Mindfully drinking water - slowly and intentionally drinking water, feeling the water travel down into your body

8. Self touch can signal to the body that you are safe. Examples include:

   • Placing one or both hands over your heart, notice how your chest moves as you breathe

   • Placing hands over the eyes to calm an overactive mind and create a quiet, internal space.

   • Self hug, crossing arms to hold shoulders provides a secure, containing sensation that helps with feeling grounded.

   • Placing a hand on the forehead and the base of the skull simultaneously to help regulate intense emotions and thoughts.

Adding an element of ritual to these techniques provides predictability which soothes our nervous system. Having a well practiced routine can also make them easier to access in the tough times. 

Key elements of rituals are:

1. Setting the intention

2. Repetition -consistent, repetitive actions help anchor the experience and make it a habit, which reduces long-term stress.

3. Using your senses helps to fully engage the body, transforming the ritual into a "felt experience" rather than just a mental concept.

Here’s are some examples of how I use these techniques following a stressful event or thought:

If I have two minutes

Take three long slow breaths with my eyes closed. In through the nose, out through the mouth, aiming for a longer out breath. You could add a hum on the out breath. With each breath, feel myself sinking more into the chair, or my feet into the ground, feeling my weight and solidity. Opening my eyes and scanning the horizon or room and finishing with gently shaking my body and/or taking a sip of water.

If I have 10 minutes

I might mindfully make a tea or coffee, with slow deliberate movements, noticing my breath. Take the drink outside and use grounding, orientation and breathing techniques as I slowly sip the drink.

If I have half an hour

With a bit more time, I would use a guided meditation (on an app like Headspace or Calm or search on YouTube) or a yoga nidra exercise, or take a mindful walk, focusing on what I can see, hear, smell, touch - perhaps the breeze, or the sensation of my feet as they touch the earth